NLP & Amplifying Your Allure! - NLP Chat
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IRC Chat Log, January 10, 1999
How Do Confident & Shy People Differ? | |
Jonathan | What's the biggest difference between confident people and less-confident people, all other things being equal? |
tref | Attitude of confidence. |
Wendi | Their perception of how they will be received |
PaulS | Their strategies |
DarkF | Internal dialog |
sunev | Experience? |
Guest | Beliefs |
Wendi | their perceived outcome |
Jonathan | The confident people have a library of personal experiences in which they've achieved certain levels of success and confidence, before! The less-confident people also have experiential libraries, and I'd be less inclined to check out their books! |
TheFool | Their actions |
ScottG | Confident people don't think about the all bad stuff that shy people think about. Shy people need more options, more choices. |
IntriKate | Shy people need a re-write! |
TheFool | Exactly Jonathan. The universe "proves" us right all the time, no matter what beliefs we hold, be it a good one, be it a bad one. |
Wendi | I built a state of confidence once when I had to go on the radio 77the first time. |
sunev | How did you do that? |
Wendi | I was either going to throw up, or find a new state! Cuz I didn't want to throw up! I decided that I had been on the radio over 100 times, this was just another time. No big deal. Of course, I noticed that everyone I saw recognized me from all my media appearances (there were none at the time). And I started talking to myself about how easy this is getting. And I reminisced about the first time way back when. |
Tranzpupy | One of the things I do, is to think of something I *like* about the person I want to talk to... |
Jonathan | Oh, I LIKE THAT strategy, Tranzpupy! Tranzpupy wins the 3rd Chocolate Bunny award of the night! :) |
sunev | I just try to pay attention to what I'm doing *now*, and don't worry about what is next. So, what is next? LOL! |
NightSoul | Classic....everyone has a redeeming quality...even... |
TheFool | Sunev, does it work all the time? |
sunev | Mostly. |
Jonathan | So we have a number of possible routes towards being more alluring & confident. Taking this a bit further -- Have you folks ever met someone who you think: (1) is amazingly charismatic.... (2) Knew how to listen & validate (3) is able to maintain his/her own views or change them if desired (4) can continue to be the center of attention even if they weren't talking all the time? |
ScottG | Before I do something which requires confidence, I like to look in the mirror "Go F**K EM UP" and think stuff like that till I cant stop laughing |
NightSoul | Patch Adams |
TheFool | Robert Holden - leader of the happiness project in the UK |
Guest, Tref | Tony Robbins |
Jonathan | Gunny, someone who if you listen to them, or see them, you just DROOL or DECIDE you want to be like them |
Jonathan | :) OK -- THINK about the person that came to mind folks. Preferably someone real that you've not only met but spent time with --- rather than a movie character. Though a movie character will do if it works for you. |
TheFool | Paul McKenna |
PaulS | Sean Connery |
ScottG | Arnold Schwarzenegger :) |
Tranzpupy | Jonathan Altfeld. And of course Richard. |
sunev | Bruce Lee!! |
Gunny | The girls on Baywatch! |
sunev | The boys on Baywatch! |
TheFool | Whoopi Goldberg... |
Jonathan | We have a bunch of NLPers here in-channel. I'm going to ask this from a NLPer perspective. What are some of the specific things those people do that is charismatic or alluring? Keep answers concise and process-oriented, rather than content-oriented. |
Wendi | Smile with confidence. Speak deliberately. Eye contact. |
sunev | Talk to you. Seem sincere. |
Tranzpupy | Pays attention to the "audience." |
DarkF | Being congruent with what they say. |
Dluzi | Knows how to go first! |
Jonathan | Yes, Dom!!! (You already got a bunny, Dom) |
TheFool | Robert Holden nods and validates whatever people say to him, before he agrees or not. |
Wendi | Have original ideas, instead of reacting to the events or conversation. |
PaulS | Voice Tone, body posture, facial expressions |
Jonathan | PaulS -- what specifically about those do they do? |
PaulS | Deep calming voice tone when talking, and a serious and confident facial expression |
IntriKate | Playful and flirtatious |
TheFool | Soft face, slight smile. LOVING! That's it! |
Wendi | Loving shows. |
DarkF | Seem interested in you. |
Gunny | Well, the people in the movies, that is not how they really act/are, it's called acting. |
Jonathan | Gunny, some actors have got it right on the money -- many have NLP training. Their AIM is often to act so convincingly that you believe they ARE the person they portray. They're doing very similar things to what we're doing. |
Wendi | That may be it in a nutshell. You feel like they like you. |
Gunny | Oh, okay. |
TheFool | Gunny, fake it until you make it. |
Jonathan | If we want to be more alluring, we're going to ACT more alluring, by studying people who ARE more alluring than we are at present! |
tref | I think I'm immediately going to take acting lessons.. |
Wendi | Charisma won't go far, if you think that person doesn't care for you. |
Jonathan | EVEN IF someone has HAD trouble, in the past, being more alluring or charismatic... Would it be helpful to do any of the things above? |
TheFool, Gunny, sunev | Yes! |
Jonathan | Gosh, though, what if they just can't do all of those things together even if they tried it once? Do they have to go back to being shy? |
Tranzpupy | No, they have to go back to being shy. It's a rule. ;) |
TheFool | Disassociate from the movies (or what ever process you engage in), change the events & occurrences, and re associate. |
sunev | Do 'em one by one! Never back -- always forward! |
Tranzpupy | No failure, only feedback. |
sunev | Rules again! |
Wendi | Right on, tranzpupy! |
TheFool | Not feedback, only feed forward. |
Jonathan | Oh, gee, though, I'm not sure how much good it would do to just do one of those things, though. I mean, just doing one of those things above seems like it would be so... minimal. |
Wendi | One would be better than none, Because it all started with just one, for each of us charismatic folks! |
TheFool | And if there is one ... there are more! |
sunev | It's a start! And it's easy to practice one by one. Like when you're trapped in an elevator, with a few people from irc! |
Jonathan | Its so much easier to just be... ... ... ... ... ... the same.... |
ScottG | You could be the same but where would that get you? |
TheFool | It's a start, as sunev said, and once you've started, you taste whatever you desired, & you can't go back any more! |
Jonathan | As Richard says in his "Personal Enhancement Series"... 'he who hesitates... waits... and waits... and waits... and waits... and waits... and waits... and waits...' Do you want to wait, anymore? Or are you now through with that? I mean, enough's enough, is it not? |
DarkF | Associate pain with staying in current state. |
Wendi | It is easy to stay in the current state, but not helpful for me. |
sunev | Why not? If it's easy? |
Jonathan | It may have been easy to do. Until you realize what happens to those areas that stay parked on a couch or chair too long. |
TheFool | What about associating MEGA plasure with every little good change? An orgasm maybe? |
Jonathan | What's the biggest difference between confident people and less-confident people, all other things being equal? |
tref | Attitude of confidence. |
Wendi | Their perception of how they will be received |
PaulS | Their strategies |
DarkF | Internal dialog |
sunev | Experience? |
Guest | Beliefs |
Wendi | their perceived outcome |
Jonathan | The confident people have a library of personal experiences in which they've achieved certain levels of success and confidence, before! The less-confident people also have experiential libraries, and I'd be less inclined to check out their books! |
TheFool | Their actions |
ScottG | Confident people don't think about the all bad stuff that shy people think about. Shy people need more options, more choices. |
IntriKate | Shy people need a re-write! |
TheFool | Exactly Jonathan. The universe "proves" us right all the time, no matter what beliefs we hold, be it a good one, be it a bad one. |
Wendi | I built a state of confidence once when I had to go on the radio the first time. |
sunev | How did you do that? |
Wendi | I was either going to throw up, or find a new state! Cuz I didn't want to throw up! I decided that I had been on the radio over 100 times, this was just another time. No big deal. Of course, I noticed that everyone I saw recognized me from all my media appearances (there were none at the time). And I started talking to myself about how easy this is getting. And I reminisced about the first time way back when. |
Tranzpupy | One of the things I do, is to think of something I *like* about the person I want to talk to... |
Jonathan | Oh, I LIKE THAT strategy, Tranzpupy! Tranzpupy wins the 3rd Chocolate Bunny award of the night! :) |
sunev | I just try to pay attention to what I'm doing *now*, and don't worry about what is next. So, what is next? LOL! |
NightSoul | Classic....everyone has a redeeming quality...even... |
TheFool | Sunev, does it work all the time? |
sunev | Mostly. |
Jonathan | So we have a number of possible routes towards being more alluring & confident. Taking this a bit further -- Have you folks ever met someone who you think: (1) is amazingly charismatic.... (2) Knew how to listen & validate (3) is able to maintain his/her own views or change them if desired (4) can continue to be the center of attention even if they weren't talking all the time? |
ScottG | Before I do something which requires confidence, I like to look in the mirror "Go F**K EM UP" and think stuff like that till I cant stop laughing |
NightSoul | Patch Adams |
TheFool | Robert Holden - leader of the happiness project in the UK |
Guest, Tref | Tony Robbins |
Jonathan | Gunny, someone who if you listen to them, or see them, you just DROOL or DECIDE you want to be like them |
Jonathan | :) OK -- THINK about the person that came to mind folks. Preferably someone real that you've not only met but spent time with --- rather than a movie character. Though a movie character will do if it works for you. |
TheFool | Paul McKenna |
PaulS | Sean Connery |
ScottG | Arnold Schwarzenegger :) |
Tranzpupy | Jonathan Altfeld. And of course Richard. |
sunev | Bruce Lee!! |
Gunny | The girls on Baywatch! |
sunev | The boys on Baywatch! |
TheFool | Whoopi Goldberg... |
Jonathan | We have a bunch of NLPers here in-channel. I'm going to ask this from a NLPer perspective. What are some of the specific things those people do that is charismatic or alluring? Keep answers concise and process-oriented, rather than content-oriented. |
Wendi | Smile with confidence. Speak deliberately. Eye contact. |
sunev | Talk to you. Seem sincere. |
Tranzpupy | Pays attention to the "audience." |
DarkF | Being congruent with what they say. |
Dluzi | Knows how to go first! |
Jonathan | Yes, Dom!!! (You already got a bunny, Dom) |
TheFool | Robert Holden nods and validates whatever people say to him, before he agrees or not. |
Wendi | Have original ideas, instead of reacting to the events or conversation. |
PaulS | Voice Tone, body posture, facial expressions |
Jonathan | PaulS -- what specifically about those do they do? |
PaulS | Deep calming voice tone when talking, and a serious and confident facial expression |
IntriKate | Playful and flirtatious |
TheFool | Soft face, slight smile. LOVING! That's it! |
Wendi | Loving shows. |
DarkF | Seem interested in you. |
Gunny | Well, the people in the movies, that is not how they really act/are, it's called acting. |
Jonathan | Gunny, some actors have got it right on the money -- many have NLP training. Their AIM is often to act so convincingly that you believe they ARE the person they portray. They're doing very similar things to what we're doing. |
Wendi | That may be it in a nutshell. You feel like they like you. |
Gunny | Oh, okay. |
TheFool | Gunny, fake it until you make it. |
Jonathan | If we want to be more alluring, we're going to ACT more alluring, by studying people who ARE more alluring than we are at present! |
tref | I think I'm immediately going to take acting lessons.. |
Wendi | Charisma won't go far, if you think that person doesn't care for you. |
Jonathan | EVEN IF someone has HAD trouble, in the past, being more alluring or charismatic... Would it be helpful to do any of the things above? |
TheFool, Gunny, sunev | Yes! |
Jonathan | Gosh, though, what if they just can't do all of those things together even if they tried it once? Do they have to go back to being shy? |
Tranzpupy | No, they have to go back to being shy. It's a rule. ;) |
TheFool | Disassociate from the movies (or what ever process you engage in), change the events & occurrences, and re associate. |
sunev | Do 'em one by one! Never back -- always forward! |
Tranzpupy | No failure, only feedback. |
sunev | Rules again! |
Wendi | Right on, tranzpupy! |
TheFool | Not feedback, only feed forward. |
Jonathan | Oh, gee, though, I'm not sure how much good it would do to just do one of those things, though. I mean, just doing one of those things above seems like it would be so... minimal. |
Wendi | One would be better than none, Because it all started with just one, for each of us charismatic folks! |
TheFool | And if there is one ... there are more! |
sunev | It's a start! And it's easy to practice one by one. Like when you're trapped in an elevator, with a few people from irc! |
Jonathan | Its so much easier to just be... ... ... ... ... ... the same.... |
ScottG | You could be the same but where would that get you? |
TheFool | It's a start, as sunev said, and once you've started, you taste whatever you desired, & you can't go back any more! |
Jonathan | As Richard says in his "Personal Enhancement Series"... 'he who hesitates... waits... and waits... and waits... and waits... and waits... and waits... and waits...' Do you want to wait, anymore? Or are you now through with that? I mean, enough's enough, is it not? |
DarkF | Associate pain with staying in current state. |
Wendi | It is easy to stay in the current state, but not helpful for me. |
sunev | Why not? If it's easy? |
Jonathan | It may have been easy to do. Until you realize what happens to those areas that stay parked on a couch or chair too long. |
TheFool | What about associating MEGA pleasure with every little good change? An orgasm maybe? |
Building Pleasurable States Inside Yourself | |
Jonathan | Now we're talking!!!!! |
TheFool | You'll never stop changing.. chain orgasms! |
IntriKate | {perk} |
DarkF | Yeah, but if you associate pleasure with the dynamic state then you will move towards it. |
Jonathan | Chain orgasms! |
Wendi | How do you chain something? |
Jonathan | Well, first you have to have 10 orgasms, quickly, then, tie them together. |
TheFool | Associate pleasure with the action of moving towards great results. Then you'll keep on moving forward. |
Jonathan | By then, it won't matter anyway, you'll just want more! |
TheFool | Why stop? |
Wendi | ...7, 8, 9, 10 -- aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh, I need a cigarette! |
IntriKate | LOL Wendi! |
Gunny | Can women really have 10 orgasms in a row? |
IntriKate | Oh yes Gunny, at least |
NLPSGI | Yes, if it is a slow day. |
Wendi | Of course! I have a tape for it. |
Dluzi | I use something other than a tape Wendi! |
Wendi | That is not what I do with the tape. Duh! |
NightSoul | WOW this topic changed :) |
Jonathan | Well, what's more alluring than the idea of hopping into the sack? Or, onto the washing machine? Or, into the shower! Or, into the backseat! |
NLPSGI | No, I find it rather alluring! |
PaulS | Sure enough! |
Dluzi | Me Too! |
Wendi | Now, what was the point here? You have 10, then you do what? Stay home and be with your charismatic self? |
sunev | Got a little sidetracked there, Wendi? |
IntriKate | Have ten more, and tie them together! |
Jonathan | Is 10 enough, Wendi? Or is it time to have more, now? |
Wendi | Jonathan! |
Jonathan | Even if you didn't, maybe we can learn how different 'normal' experience is from an orgasm, and make our moment-to-moment experiences in life MORE pleasurable? If our bodies & minds can feel THAT good in an instant, how much better can we feel the rest of the time? |
Wendi | I used to date a hypnotist... and he had some abilities that others would doubt. |
Jonathan | I wouldn't doubt that! :) I would enjoy hearing ALL about it! LOL Wendi! |
sunev | Do tell! |
Wendi | Get out of town! The point is this: He and I believed that there were few limits, and so there were few limits. |
TheFool | Exactly, Wendi. Whatever you believe in, is true for you! |
Wendi | Don't limit yourself. |
Jonathan | Agreed! Or, free yourself! |
Wendi | Yes, apply that also for other things. |
NightSoul | Allow the infinite possibilities! |
Jonathan | Let me ask another question along these lines but without being graphic! :) Have you ever looked into someone's face/eyes while they were experiencing strong pleasurable sensations? Doesn't have to be an orgasm, it could be a massage, or a jacuzzi, or something else. |
Dluzi, ScottG, IntriKate, sunev, Wendi | Yes. |
Jonathan | In the moment when you allowed yourself to observe and perhaps appreciate their enjoyment -- was there even a HINT of internal dialogue or doubts or worries or concerns... Was there any lack of enhanced awareness for what the other person was experiencing? |
ScottG | Only pleasure, here! :) |
TheFool | Once you're in the feeling, who cares about silly internal dialogues, concerns, worries.. or whatever else? |
sunev | Yeah, who cares? |
Throwing Thunderbolts! One step to Amplifying Your Allure! | |
Jonathan | What if ALL you needed to do to be more alluring, was to find a way out of old worried perceptions, out of doubt, out of shyness, and into a congruent state of internal pleasure. If you walked around in a state of pleasure, would it even matter what you said to people (within reason)? Would you even have to say anything? Would you have to "conquer shyness" or "raise self-esteem?" |
sunev, TheFool, Gunny | No. |
Jonathan | Or would other people become aware of your state AUTOMATICALLY and want some of what YOU'VE GOT! |
tref | I would have to bring them into the same state of pleasure, which increases my pleasure. |
TheFool | I remember the first time I met Robert Holden; it was a 5-hour workshop. When I went home I had a smile from ear to ear, in the tube, in the buses, and people were smiling with me! That was even more great! :) |
NLPSGI | What if that pleasure was building up inside you and at the peak of that experience you turned and looked them in the eye and sent every ounce of that pleasure deep into their soul, do you think that would be alluring? |
Wendi | You'd get arrested? |
tref | That would be physiologically sending a rather STRONG signal as well! |
Jonathan | Hmmmmmm... makes my brain go haywire! Neurons just start lighting up! |
ScottG | YeeHa! |
DarkF | Yeah, things like pupil dilation are alluring! |
Jonathan | Yes indeed they are |
tref | And experiencing & visualizing deep pleasure releases pheromones! |
sunev | Shh, don't give away the secrets! |
TheFool | A smile, a genuine smile, that comes from inside, is alluring and contagious! |
NLPSGI | There are control knobs in your mind that you can use to send any level of good feelings! Richard likes to call it the Thunderbolt! It can be used with any feelings at any level. |
Jonathan | I spent an hour and a half on techniques & issues -- but what if all it took was building up a strong pleasure state and sending thunderbolts! |
Dluzi | Woo Hoo!! |
sunev | Thunder and lightning! |
NLPSGI | Well, thunderbolts are easy; it is as I said. Build up a good feeling and then send it to the one you have in mind! You can spin the feelings or use SMD's to increase it. |
Tranzpupy | It works... I used thunderbolts to double my salary! |
Jonathan | Hey, Kay! That's fantastic! |
Tranzpupy | I also negotiated a $5/hour raise before I started work. Now, people tell me "You are good, that's why we pay you the big bucks! |
Wendi | 19, 20, 21, LOL! LOL! |
sunev | And counting! |
IntriKate | Better than counting sheep! |
Dluzi | 67, 68 |
Jonathan | LOL Wendi! Did you get that on tape? |
Wendi | JOOOOONathan. I didn't record orgasms on tape! It is a tape for hypnotically great orgasms. But there are no orgasms on the tape! |
IntriKate | Tonight's chat was brought to you by the letter "O"! |
Dluzi | More-gasms! |
Wendi | Help. I need a boyfriend! |
Jonathan | Hmmm... |
Wendi | Quick, I need one today! |
sunev | Wendi, you already had 20-something! |
Jonathan | I can see where this is going, big & bright! |
Wendi | Next chat: "You & Your Orgasm" |
tref | Do we have to bring one with us? |
Jonathan | (I need to remember to edit in "Welcome to Brazil" at the beginning of this chat later...) |
Wendi | Tooooo funny, guys! |
Jonathan | Scott, sometimes all you need to do to be more alluring is to get into the state where you ooooooooze sensuality, in ways marginally "appropriate" to the context you're in... |
IntriKate | Just put yourself in a perpetual state of orgasm, and project that to everyone, and that's it? That's more fun than I thought! |
Wendi | So I guess this is ultimately on-topic! This is where the allure thing was supposed to go? OK troops, report back next week! |
Jonathan | I had no idea where the allure thing would go, but I'm enjoying the chat anyway! Hey, you folks took it here! Blame yourselves and then enjoy it twice as much! |
IntriKate | Next week everyone reports back with carpal tunnel... |
Wendi | Kate! Who do you sue for that kind of carpal tunnel? Do you get disability? |
IntriKate | Take matters into your own hands. |
Wendi | There was a script for an online orgasm, NLP-style! I put it in my book! |
Gunny | What kind of script? |
Wendi | One to induce orgasm without stimulation. And that is a high learning state, yes? Sexual arousal peaks your learning ability. |
ScottG | Has anyone here anchored an orgasm and fired it off randomly? I mean without physical stimulation. |
TheFool | Without physical stimulation? LOL! Show me any picture of any girl from Baywatch wearing a swimsuit! |
Wendi | This is an important subject. I get more email about that than anything else to do with hypnosis! I have a hypnosis tape called Virtual Viagra! |
sunev | I'm thinking, I'm thinking! |
Wendi | Haha, sunev, i got it! |
IntriKate | Jonathan - now that I understand this - how do I anchor this to remember it when I'm in a situation where I feel shy? Since it's so clear right now, and I want to remember it when I'm in a situation where I am usually shy or reticent. |
Jonathan | Let me start by asking "What do you know about anchoring?" |
ScottG | I'm not sure how much I know; I know a bit. |
Jonathan | I might start by imagining an experience one might encounter in the future when it would be useful to be this way, in this state. What I suggest would probably be best attached to the environmental triggers each of us thinks we're going to experience. |
ScottG | At work, when the boss gets pissed. |
Jonathan | Does he get pissed at you? Or in general? |
ScottG | He gets pissed at me. If he doesn't like what I'm doing, or if I get accused of anything, I want to keep my cool. |
Jonathan | If I were you, I'd imagine/hear him acting his normal way, all while amplifying allure inside... and find out how differently things might go if I behave in that new way! |
ScottG | When I imagine the 'bad' situation though, I lose that good feeling |
Jonathan | You might choose to start by feeling good first! Then, perhaps, see yourself doing some of the techniques we talked about, and enjoy the results you might gain! You might want to do it -- in dissociated fashion. See yourself in that situation. |
ScottG | OK, thanks! Yeah, dissociated is easier. |
TheFool | Just by thinking about the word allure & saying it to myself, it dilates my pupils, and I feel the warmth that I had through the conversation. It's got a nice sound to it.. alllluuuuurrrrrreeeee .. like chocolate on the tip of the tongue.. melting.. slowly.. YUMMMY |
Jonathan | Yup! Plus its a great ambiguity root :) Your Allure....ing |
TheFool | Give it a bit of a french accent, too! |
IntriKate | It fits well with sensual: sensu-al-luring! |
Wrapping-Up! | |
Jonathan | Let's wrap up the chat, folks! Thanks for coming! |
TheFool | Thanks very much! |
sunev | Thanks, Jonathan! |
Jonathan | My pleasure! Thanks, Kathleen! Thanks, Dom! |
Dluzi | Good night all, and thanks to Jonathan and all you others... Thanks Kathleen!!! |
Wendi | Thank you, Jonathan & all! It has been fun. |
NLPSGI | Ya Hoooo! John says 'Hi' & is sorry he couldn't be with you tonight! |
Wendi | Yes yes yes! 33, 34, |
ScottG | Keep up that looping orgasm, Wendi :) |
Wendi | 35 |
Jonathan | LOL! 4,926, 4,927, 4,928 |
Wendi | Hahahaha! There is my new boyfriend! |
Jonathan | 4,929, 5,255 (skipped a few. Well, they all blur together these days!) |
Jonathan | Thank you ALL for coming to chat! I enjoyed this one -- and the group! Fun fun fun! Amplifying Your Alllllllllur.....ing... now, aren't you! |
IRC CHAT OVER! |
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