NLP & Amplifying Your Allure! - NLP Chat

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NLP & Amplifying Your Allure

IRC Chat Log, January 10, 1999


How Do Confident & Shy People Differ?
Jonathan What's the biggest difference between confident people and less-confident people, all other things being equal?
tref Attitude of confidence.
Wendi Their perception of how they will be received
PaulS Their strategies
DarkF Internal dialog
sunev Experience?
Guest Beliefs
Wendi their perceived outcome
Jonathan The confident people have a library of personal experiences in which they've achieved certain levels of success and confidence, before! The less-confident people also have experiential libraries, and I'd be less inclined to check out their books!
TheFool Their actions
ScottG Confident people don't think about the all bad stuff that shy people think about. Shy people need more options, more choices.
IntriKate Shy people need a re-write!
TheFool Exactly Jonathan. The universe "proves" us right all the time, no matter what beliefs we hold, be it a good one, be it a bad one.
Wendi I built a state of confidence once when I had to go on the radio 77the first time.
sunev How did you do that?
Wendi I was either going to throw up, or find a new state! Cuz I didn't want to throw up! I decided that I had been on the radio over 100 times, this was just another time. No big deal. Of course, I noticed that everyone I saw recognized me from all my media appearances (there were none at the time). And I started talking to myself about how easy this is getting. And I reminisced about the first time way back when.
Tranzpupy One of the things I do, is to think of something I *like* about the person I want to talk to...
Jonathan Oh, I LIKE THAT strategy, Tranzpupy! Tranzpupy wins the 3rd Chocolate Bunny award of the night! :)
sunev I just try to pay attention to what I'm doing *now*, and don't worry about what is next. So, what is next? LOL!
NightSoul Classic....everyone has a redeeming quality...even...
TheFool Sunev, does it work all the time?
sunev Mostly.
Jonathan So we have a number of possible routes towards being more alluring & confident. Taking this a bit further -- Have you folks ever met someone who you think:
(1) is amazingly charismatic....
(2) Knew how to listen & validate
(3) is able to maintain his/her own views or change them if desired
(4) can continue to be the center of attention even if they weren't talking all the time?
ScottG Before I do something which requires confidence, I like to look in the mirror "Go F**K EM UP" and think stuff like that till I cant stop laughing
NightSoul Patch Adams
TheFool Robert Holden - leader of the happiness project in the UK
Guest, Tref Tony Robbins
Jonathan Gunny, someone who if you listen to them, or see them, you just DROOL or DECIDE you want to be like them
Jonathan :) OK -- THINK about the person that came to mind folks. Preferably someone real that you've not only met but spent time with --- rather than a movie character. Though a movie character will do if it works for you.
TheFool Paul McKenna
PaulS Sean Connery
ScottG Arnold Schwarzenegger :)
Tranzpupy Jonathan Altfeld. And of course Richard.
sunev Bruce Lee!!
Gunny The girls on Baywatch!
sunev The boys on Baywatch!
TheFool Whoopi Goldberg...
Jonathan We have a bunch of NLPers here in-channel. I'm going to ask this from a NLPer perspective. What are some of the specific things those people do that is charismatic or alluring? Keep answers concise and process-oriented, rather than content-oriented.
Wendi Smile with confidence. Speak deliberately. Eye contact.
sunev Talk to you. Seem sincere.
Tranzpupy Pays attention to the "audience."
DarkF Being congruent with what they say.
Dluzi Knows how to go first!
Jonathan Yes, Dom!!! (You already got a bunny, Dom)
TheFool Robert Holden nods and validates whatever people say to him, before he agrees or not.
Wendi Have original ideas, instead of reacting to the events or conversation.
PaulS Voice Tone, body posture, facial expressions
Jonathan PaulS -- what specifically about those do they do?
PaulS Deep calming voice tone when talking, and a serious and confident facial expression
IntriKate Playful and flirtatious
TheFool Soft face, slight smile. LOVING! That's it!
Wendi Loving shows.
DarkF Seem interested in you.
Gunny Well, the people in the movies, that is not how they really act/are, it's called acting.
Jonathan Gunny, some actors have got it right on the money -- many have NLP training. Their AIM is often to act so convincingly that you believe they ARE the person they portray. They're doing very similar things to what we're doing.
Wendi That may be it in a nutshell. You feel like they like you.
Gunny Oh, okay.
TheFool Gunny, fake it until you make it.
Jonathan If we want to be more alluring, we're going to ACT more alluring, by studying people who ARE more alluring than we are at present!
tref I think I'm immediately going to take acting lessons..
Wendi Charisma won't go far, if you think that person doesn't care for you.
Jonathan EVEN IF someone has HAD trouble, in the past, being more alluring or charismatic... Would it be helpful to do any of the things above?
TheFool, Gunny, sunev Yes!
Jonathan Gosh, though, what if they just can't do all of those things together even if they tried it once? Do they have to go back to being shy?
Tranzpupy No, they have to go back to being shy. It's a rule. ;)
TheFool Disassociate from the movies (or what ever process you engage in), change the events & occurrences, and re associate.
sunev Do 'em one by one! Never back -- always forward!
Tranzpupy No failure, only feedback.
sunev Rules again!
Wendi Right on, tranzpupy!
TheFool Not feedback, only feed forward.
Jonathan Oh, gee, though, I'm not sure how much good it would do to just do one of those things, though. I mean, just doing one of those things above seems like it would be so... minimal.
Wendi One would be better than none, Because it all started with just one, for each of us charismatic folks!
TheFool And if there is one ... there are more!
sunev It's a start! And it's easy to practice one by one. Like when you're trapped in an elevator, with a few people from irc!
Jonathan Its so much easier to just be... ... ... ... ... ... the same....
ScottG You could be the same but where would that get you?
TheFool It's a start, as sunev said, and once you've started, you taste whatever you desired, & you can't go back any more!
Jonathan As Richard says in his "Personal Enhancement Series"... 'he who hesitates... waits... and waits... and waits... and waits... and waits... and waits... and waits...' Do you want to wait, anymore? Or are you now through with that? I mean, enough's enough, is it not?
DarkF Associate pain with staying in current state.
Wendi It is easy to stay in the current state, but not helpful for me.
sunev Why not? If it's easy?
Jonathan It may have been easy to do. Until you realize what happens to those areas that stay parked on a couch or chair too long.
TheFool What about associating MEGA plasure with every little good change? An orgasm maybe?
Jonathan What's the biggest difference between confident people and less-confident people, all other things being equal?
tref Attitude of confidence.
Wendi Their perception of how they will be received
PaulS Their strategies
DarkF Internal dialog
sunev Experience?
Guest Beliefs
Wendi their perceived outcome
Jonathan The confident people have a library of personal experiences in which they've achieved certain levels of success and confidence, before! The less-confident people also have experiential libraries, and I'd be less inclined to check out their books!
TheFool Their actions
ScottG Confident people don't think about the all bad stuff that shy people think about. Shy people need more options, more choices.
IntriKate Shy people need a re-write!
TheFool Exactly Jonathan. The universe "proves" us right all the time, no matter what beliefs we hold, be it a good one, be it a bad one.
Wendi I built a state of confidence once when I had to go on the radio the first time.
sunev How did you do that?
Wendi I was either going to throw up, or find a new state! Cuz I didn't want to throw up! I decided that I had been on the radio over 100 times, this was just another time. No big deal. Of course, I noticed that everyone I saw recognized me from all my media appearances (there were none at the time). And I started talking to myself about how easy this is getting. And I reminisced about the first time way back when.
Tranzpupy One of the things I do, is to think of something I *like* about the person I want to talk to...
Jonathan Oh, I LIKE THAT strategy, Tranzpupy! Tranzpupy wins the 3rd Chocolate Bunny award of the night! :)
sunev I just try to pay attention to what I'm doing *now*, and don't worry about what is next. So, what is next? LOL!
NightSoul Classic....everyone has a redeeming quality...even...
TheFool Sunev, does it work all the time?
sunev Mostly.
Jonathan So we have a number of possible routes towards being more alluring & confident. Taking this a bit further -- Have you folks ever met someone who you think:
(1) is amazingly charismatic....
(2) Knew how to listen & validate
(3) is able to maintain his/her own views or change them if desired
(4) can continue to be the center of attention even if they weren't talking all the time?
ScottG Before I do something which requires confidence, I like to look in the mirror "Go F**K EM UP" and think stuff like that till I cant stop laughing
NightSoul Patch Adams
TheFool Robert Holden - leader of the happiness project in the UK
Guest, Tref Tony Robbins
Jonathan Gunny, someone who if you listen to them, or see them, you just DROOL or DECIDE you want to be like them
Jonathan :) OK -- THINK about the person that came to mind folks. Preferably someone real that you've not only met but spent time with --- rather than a movie character. Though a movie character will do if it works for you.
TheFool Paul McKenna
PaulS Sean Connery
ScottG Arnold Schwarzenegger :)
Tranzpupy Jonathan Altfeld. And of course Richard.
sunev Bruce Lee!!
Gunny The girls on Baywatch!
sunev The boys on Baywatch!
TheFool Whoopi Goldberg...
Jonathan We have a bunch of NLPers here in-channel. I'm going to ask this from a NLPer perspective. What are some of the specific things those people do that is charismatic or alluring? Keep answers concise and process-oriented, rather than content-oriented.
Wendi Smile with confidence. Speak deliberately. Eye contact.
sunev Talk to you. Seem sincere.
Tranzpupy Pays attention to the "audience."
DarkF Being congruent with what they say.
Dluzi Knows how to go first!
Jonathan Yes, Dom!!! (You already got a bunny, Dom)
TheFool Robert Holden nods and validates whatever people say to him, before he agrees or not.
Wendi Have original ideas, instead of reacting to the events or conversation.
PaulS Voice Tone, body posture, facial expressions
Jonathan PaulS -- what specifically about those do they do?
PaulS Deep calming voice tone when talking, and a serious and confident facial expression
IntriKate Playful and flirtatious
TheFool Soft face, slight smile. LOVING! That's it!
Wendi Loving shows.
DarkF Seem interested in you.
Gunny Well, the people in the movies, that is not how they really act/are, it's called acting.
Jonathan Gunny, some actors have got it right on the money -- many have NLP training. Their AIM is often to act so convincingly that you believe they ARE the person they portray. They're doing very similar things to what we're doing.
Wendi That may be it in a nutshell. You feel like they like you.
Gunny Oh, okay.
TheFool Gunny, fake it until you make it.
Jonathan If we want to be more alluring, we're going to ACT more alluring, by studying people who ARE more alluring than we are at present!
tref I think I'm immediately going to take acting lessons..
Wendi Charisma won't go far, if you think that person doesn't care for you.
Jonathan EVEN IF someone has HAD trouble, in the past, being more alluring or charismatic... Would it be helpful to do any of the things above?
TheFool, Gunny, sunev Yes!
Jonathan Gosh, though, what if they just can't do all of those things together even if they tried it once? Do they have to go back to being shy?
Tranzpupy No, they have to go back to being shy. It's a rule. ;)
TheFool Disassociate from the movies (or what ever process you engage in), change the events & occurrences, and re associate.
sunev Do 'em one by one! Never back -- always forward!
Tranzpupy No failure, only feedback.
sunev Rules again!
Wendi Right on, tranzpupy!
TheFool Not feedback, only feed forward.
Jonathan Oh, gee, though, I'm not sure how much good it would do to just do one of those things, though. I mean, just doing one of those things above seems like it would be so... minimal.
Wendi One would be better than none, Because it all started with just one, for each of us charismatic folks!
TheFool And if there is one ... there are more!
sunev It's a start! And it's easy to practice one by one. Like when you're trapped in an elevator, with a few people from irc!
Jonathan Its so much easier to just be... ... ... ... ... ... the same....
ScottG You could be the same but where would that get you?
TheFool It's a start, as sunev said, and once you've started, you taste whatever you desired, & you can't go back any more!
Jonathan As Richard says in his "Personal Enhancement Series"... 'he who hesitates... waits... and waits... and waits... and waits... and waits... and waits... and waits...' Do you want to wait, anymore? Or are you now through with that? I mean, enough's enough, is it not?
DarkF Associate pain with staying in current state.
Wendi It is easy to stay in the current state, but not helpful for me.
sunev Why not? If it's easy?
Jonathan It may have been easy to do. Until you realize what happens to those areas that stay parked on a couch or chair too long.
TheFool What about associating MEGA pleasure with every little good change? An orgasm maybe?

Building Pleasurable States Inside Yourself
Jonathan Now we're talking!!!!!
TheFool You'll never stop changing.. chain orgasms!
IntriKate {perk}
DarkF Yeah, but if you associate pleasure with the dynamic state then you will move towards it.
Jonathan Chain orgasms!
Wendi How do you chain something?
Jonathan Well, first you have to have 10 orgasms, quickly, then, tie them together.
TheFool Associate pleasure with the action of moving towards great results. Then you'll keep on moving forward.
Jonathan By then, it won't matter anyway, you'll just want more!
TheFool Why stop?
Wendi ...7, 8, 9, 10 -- aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh, I need a cigarette!
IntriKate LOL Wendi!
Gunny Can women really have 10 orgasms in a row?
IntriKate Oh yes Gunny, at least
NLPSGI Yes, if it is a slow day.
Wendi Of course! I have a tape for it.
Dluzi I use something other than a tape Wendi!
Wendi That is not what I do with the tape. Duh!
NightSoul WOW this topic changed :)
Jonathan Well, what's more alluring than the idea of hopping into the sack? Or, onto the washing machine? Or, into the shower! Or, into the backseat!
NLPSGI No, I find it rather alluring!
PaulS Sure enough!
Dluzi Me Too!
Wendi Now, what was the point here? You have 10, then you do what? Stay home and be with your charismatic self?
sunev Got a little sidetracked there, Wendi?
IntriKate Have ten more, and tie them together!
Jonathan Is 10 enough, Wendi? Or is it time to have more, now?
Wendi Jonathan!
Jonathan Even if you didn't, maybe we can learn how different 'normal' experience is from an orgasm, and make our moment-to-moment experiences in life MORE pleasurable? If our bodies & minds can feel THAT good in an instant, how much better can we feel the rest of the time?
Wendi I used to date a hypnotist... and he had some abilities that others would doubt.
Jonathan I wouldn't doubt that! :) I would enjoy hearing ALL about it! LOL Wendi!
sunev Do tell!
Wendi Get out of town! The point is this: He and I believed that there were few limits, and so there were few limits.
TheFool Exactly, Wendi. Whatever you believe in, is true for you!
Wendi Don't limit yourself.
Jonathan Agreed! Or, free yourself!
Wendi Yes, apply that also for other things.
NightSoul Allow the infinite possibilities!
Jonathan Let me ask another question along these lines but without being graphic! :) Have you ever looked into someone's face/eyes while they were experiencing strong pleasurable sensations? Doesn't have to be an orgasm, it could be a massage, or a jacuzzi, or something else.
Dluzi, ScottG, IntriKate, sunev, Wendi Yes.
Jonathan In the moment when you allowed yourself to observe and perhaps appreciate their enjoyment -- was there even a HINT of internal dialogue or doubts or worries or concerns... Was there any lack of enhanced awareness for what the other person was experiencing?
ScottG Only pleasure, here! :)
TheFool Once you're in the feeling, who cares about silly internal dialogues, concerns, worries.. or whatever else?
sunev Yeah, who cares?

Throwing Thunderbolts! One step to Amplifying Your Allure!
Jonathan What if ALL you needed to do to be more alluring, was to find a way out of old worried perceptions, out of doubt, out of shyness, and into a congruent state of internal pleasure. If you walked around in a state of pleasure, would it even matter what you said to people (within reason)? Would you even have to say anything? Would you have to "conquer shyness" or "raise self-esteem?"
sunev, TheFool, Gunny No.
Jonathan Or would other people become aware of your state AUTOMATICALLY and want some of what YOU'VE GOT!
tref I would have to bring them into the same state of pleasure, which increases my pleasure.
TheFool I remember the first time I met Robert Holden; it was a 5-hour workshop. When I went home I had a smile from ear to ear, in the tube, in the buses, and people were smiling with me! That was even more great! :)
NLPSGI What if that pleasure was building up inside you and at the peak of that experience you turned and looked them in the eye and sent every ounce of that pleasure deep into their soul, do you think that would be alluring?
Wendi You'd get arrested?
tref That would be physiologically sending a rather STRONG signal as well!
Jonathan Hmmmmmm... makes my brain go haywire! Neurons just start lighting up!
ScottG YeeHa!
DarkF Yeah, things like pupil dilation are alluring!
Jonathan Yes indeed they are
tref And experiencing & visualizing deep pleasure releases pheromones!
sunev Shh, don't give away the secrets!
TheFool A smile, a genuine smile, that comes from inside, is alluring and contagious!
NLPSGI There are control knobs in your mind that you can use to send any level of good feelings! Richard likes to call it the Thunderbolt! It can be used with any feelings at any level.
Jonathan I spent an hour and a half on techniques & issues -- but what if all it took was building up a strong pleasure state and sending thunderbolts!
Dluzi Woo Hoo!!
sunev Thunder and lightning!
NLPSGI Well, thunderbolts are easy; it is as I said. Build up a good feeling and then send it to the one you have in mind! You can spin the feelings or use SMD's to increase it.
Tranzpupy It works... I used thunderbolts to double my salary!
Jonathan Hey, Kay! That's fantastic!
Tranzpupy I also negotiated a $5/hour raise before I started work. Now, people tell me "You are good, that's why we pay you the big bucks!
Wendi 19, 20, 21, LOL! LOL!
sunev And counting!
IntriKate Better than counting sheep!
Dluzi 67, 68
Jonathan LOL Wendi! Did you get that on tape?
Wendi JOOOOONathan. I didn't record orgasms on tape! It is a tape for hypnotically great orgasms. But there are no orgasms on the tape!
IntriKate Tonight's chat was brought to you by the letter "O"!
Dluzi More-gasms!
Wendi Help. I need a boyfriend!
Jonathan Hmmm...
Wendi Quick, I need one today!
sunev Wendi, you already had 20-something!
Jonathan I can see where this is going, big & bright!
Wendi Next chat: "You & Your Orgasm"
tref Do we have to bring one with us?
Jonathan (I need to remember to edit in "Welcome to Brazil" at the beginning of this chat later...)
Wendi Tooooo funny, guys!
Jonathan Scott, sometimes all you need to do to be more alluring is to get into the state where you ooooooooze sensuality, in ways marginally "appropriate" to the context you're in...
IntriKate Just put yourself in a perpetual state of orgasm, and project that to everyone, and that's it? That's more fun than I thought!
Wendi So I guess this is ultimately on-topic! This is where the allure thing was supposed to go? OK troops, report back next week!
Jonathan I had no idea where the allure thing would go, but I'm enjoying the chat anyway! Hey, you folks took it here! Blame yourselves and then enjoy it twice as much!
IntriKate Next week everyone reports back with carpal tunnel...
Wendi Kate! Who do you sue for that kind of carpal tunnel? Do you get disability?
IntriKate Take matters into your own hands.
Wendi There was a script for an online orgasm, NLP-style! I put it in my book!
Gunny What kind of script?
Wendi One to induce orgasm without stimulation. And that is a high learning state, yes? Sexual arousal peaks your learning ability.
ScottG Has anyone here anchored an orgasm and fired it off randomly? I mean without physical stimulation.
TheFool Without physical stimulation? LOL! Show me any picture of any girl from Baywatch wearing a swimsuit!
Wendi This is an important subject. I get more email about that than anything else to do with hypnosis! I have a hypnosis tape called Virtual Viagra!
sunev I'm thinking, I'm thinking!
Wendi Haha, sunev, i got it!
IntriKate Jonathan - now that I understand this - how do I anchor this to remember it when I'm in a situation where I feel shy? Since it's so clear right now, and I want to remember it when I'm in a situation where I am usually shy or reticent.
Jonathan Let me start by asking "What do you know about anchoring?"
ScottG I'm not sure how much I know; I know a bit.
Jonathan I might start by imagining an experience one might encounter in the future when it would be useful to be this way, in this state. What I suggest would probably be best attached to the environmental triggers each of us thinks we're going to experience.
ScottG At work, when the boss gets pissed.
Jonathan Does he get pissed at you? Or in general?
ScottG He gets pissed at me. If he doesn't like what I'm doing, or if I get accused of anything, I want to keep my cool.
Jonathan If I were you, I'd imagine/hear him acting his normal way, all while amplifying allure inside... and find out how differently things might go if I behave in that new way!
ScottG When I imagine the 'bad' situation though, I lose that good feeling
Jonathan You might choose to start by feeling good first! Then, perhaps, see yourself doing some of the techniques we talked about, and enjoy the results you might gain! You might want to do it -- in dissociated fashion. See yourself in that situation.
ScottG OK, thanks! Yeah, dissociated is easier.
TheFool Just by thinking about the word allure & saying it to myself, it dilates my pupils, and I feel the warmth that I had through the conversation. It's got a nice sound to it.. alllluuuuurrrrrreeeee .. like chocolate on the tip of the tongue.. melting.. slowly.. YUMMMY
Jonathan Yup! Plus its a great ambiguity root :) Your Allure....ing
TheFool Give it a bit of a french accent, too!
IntriKate It fits well with sensual: sensu-al-luring!

Wrapping-Up!
Jonathan Let's wrap up the chat, folks! Thanks for coming!
TheFool Thanks very much!
sunev Thanks, Jonathan!
Jonathan My pleasure! Thanks, Kathleen! Thanks, Dom!
Dluzi Good night all, and thanks to Jonathan and all you others... Thanks Kathleen!!!
Wendi Thank you, Jonathan & all! It has been fun.
NLPSGI Ya Hoooo! John says 'Hi' & is sorry he couldn't be with you tonight!
Wendi Yes yes yes! 33, 34,
ScottG Keep up that looping orgasm, Wendi :)
Wendi 35
Jonathan LOL! 4,926, 4,927, 4,928
Wendi Hahahaha! There is my new boyfriend!
Jonathan 4,929, 5,255 (skipped a few. Well, they all blur together these days!)
Jonathan Thank you ALL for coming to chat! I enjoyed this one -- and the group! Fun fun fun! Amplifying Your Alllllllllur.....ing... now, aren't you!

IRC CHAT OVER!

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