Recently, on social media, an NLP Practitioner asked a question about a client who reported having a phobia, and with whom he used the NLP Fast Phobia Cure, which may have partly worked, but it came back a few days later?
Staying Focused in Conversations - NLP Article
The following post was written in 1998 about someone who described being so involved in their own internal and external dialogue that other people simply faded away -- and this prevented them being able to sustain any calibration efforts towards other people in conversation.
I know someone who did something similar, who asked me to help with this in normal conversation! So I paid close attention to him and I found that his accesses were turning straight into dreamland. I didn't know what I'd do that would work, so I just started playing. I'd wait until he had finished accessing, and then started talking, then I'd reach out with my hand(s) into his access space and draw his eyes right back to center (towards me).
At first it was an interrupt he got amused/annoyed at concurrently, so he'd lose his place because he was laughing a little. After the laughter subsided, and my interrupts continued through the conversation we were having, we both found he was able to sensitize himself to the interrupt that was more internal than external. He let his eyes come back to center after they'd been "captured" by my nonverbal interrupt, but he'd keep talking (as I'd asked him to do). And upon reconnecting with my eyes, he found he was more responsive to MY reactions to what he was saying.
After we had that down, I suggested he WAIT to speak, until after he'd regained eye contact with me. That was a little difficult at first, but he made fast progress (and really enjoyed the process of gaining more understanding of his own processes and how he COULD adjust them with only a little bit of work).
I saw my friend 2 weeks later, & he'd reverted ROUGHLY halfway back to his prior behavior but had NOT gone back to his previous level of disconnection. Even so, he said people were responding to him very differently. So, a couple of additional minutes with those interrupts and he was re-engaged in the conversation consistently! So we future-paced it, and then meta-future-paced it, and laughed like crazy the whole time.
Such simple adjustments, such profound changes!
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- As of September 2020, we're in the process of moving from Tampa, Florida, to the Youngstown Ohio area. Currently, during the Coronavirus era, we're mostly focusing on Zoom-based Coaching, and aligning resources to run online courses.
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- What are the Four Stages of Learning?
- Mark HenryCertified Hypnotherapist, Baton Rouge, LABought Video : “Building Hypnotic Rapport”
Jonathan's skill builders DVDs are incredible. Learn about building hypnotic rapport by pacing and leading others breathing patterns. I synchronized my breathing with several attractive women at coffee shops and malls in the last month. Each turned their bodies toward me while I sat across a room. They gazed at me for several seconds. I felt that I connected with them on an unconscious level. I later spoke with them and were amazed at their friendliness to a complete stranger.
2005 - Bob DillonSeminar Leader, VermontAttended Course : Speaking Ingeniously
No matter where you perceive your skill level, there is always more. Jonathan not only cuts diamonds, he polishes them, and adds more facets."
2002 - Ted VanderNootCognitrix, London, UKAttended Course : Belief Craft MP3 Set
"Your presentation of AI & Knowledge Engineering & how computer software systems can learn & decide was quite interesting. But using these models to then explore modelling in the NLP context was mind-blowing! It was really cool how well we were tracking beliefs by only the second day. [...] Not only could we track beliefs & language patterns "on the fly" but we could unravel their interconnections & their interactions conversationally. I thoroughly recommend your course to anyone who wants to improve their skills at tracking language patterns & modelling."
http://www.cognitrix.com/2005 - Elaine ChristakosFinancial Coach, Kelowna, BCAttended Course : Linguistic Wizardry
Jonathan is a superb trainer and communicator. I am thrilled to have participated in his recent Seattle Linguistic Wizardry workshop. Jonathan has a way of transferring knowledge with such ease as to include everyone - regardless of prior training or NLP experience. I was in awe watching how Jonathan managed to reach everyone in a different way - while constantly keeping the entire group engaged. I've now got a renewed excitement for practicing my NLP skills, and am more eager than ever to keep it working for me. Although I thought my coaching calls were great prior to attending LW, soon after my training - I found my calls to be more fluid and effective. The words seemed to flow much easier and my use of embedded commands are more natural and useful. I also am better able to focus my attention on understanding the style of my clients patterns - without losing focus on the content of what I'm teaching. It has all been such a natural process that I'm eager to see where it will be most effective next.
2007 - G.A.Sydney, AustraliaBought Audio : Finding Your Irresistible Voice
After reviewing your CDs I started realising how applicable it was in creating a new improved voice range. I realised that with very little effort people were listening attentively to me, even in crowded places and in places where machinery is constantly running. My workmates noticed it too, dropping comments as to how 'agreeable' it was to listen to my opinions, and how much more rapport was noticeable! My new girlfriend also refers to my voice as to one of my good qualities, which -- in combination with my other NLP techniques -- makes for my voice a seductive weapon of choice. I am recommending it to my friends. Thanks!
2004 - Chris ArellanoNorth CarolinaAttended Course : NLP Practitioner Training
Through this experience, I've gathered many things that I did not have before. I am able to see things, and see them from new perspectives. I have learned and am still learning how to improve both myself as well as those with whom I come in contact. Things I have just described are somewhat vague in description yet very profound to me. I owe much of this trance-formation to Jon for providing the tools and facilitating the use of these new tools in a positive direction. Thank you.
1998 - Chris FialaMarketing Consultant, Clearwater, FLAttended Course : Speaking Ingeniously
"I very much enjoyed your seminar. Having more comfort when I talk with people makes the rapport deeper. Even though my demo is only 90 seconds, I hold longer eye contact with more potential customers, building a sense of connection. Result? Sales of my juicer product increased 30%." -
- Andrew JoyPrincipal French Horn, Cologne Radio Orchestra, Cologne, GermanyBought Audio : Finding Your Irresistible Voice
Your CDs arrived safe and sound. I've listened to the first two and worked on the exercises. I'm a 55 year young, professional principal french horn player and have been working in a top German symphony orchestra for the past 30 years. I listened to the bonus telephone interview today. I am blown away. The results, applying your voice exercises to my playing (and to my students) are phenomenal. Resonance plays a huge role in performing on a brass instrument and very few poeple understand much about it. I've picked up useful and practical information, from singers and voice coaches, that I've been able to adapt to brass playing. Explaining resonance is now easy using your nose, mouth, throat etc, approach. The killer though, is using double resonance. I have free at present and don't have to perform in the orchestra (and the hall) until the beginning of Febuary. However, I am itching to hear how my changed sound is in our hall. It has to be amazing. Your material has added wonderfully valuable understandings to my comprehension of what constitutes excellent quality brass player and has beautifully simplified my means of effectively communicating it to my students. There has been a lot of belly laughter, stunned ears and broad smiles in my teaching studio this week. I'm teaching a course to amateur wind and brass players next year and am looking forward to applying your teachings to this particular situation for the benefit of the people attending. Thanks a million. This is one of the few times in my life where I've been gladly reeling and with a huge smile on my face.
http://www.andrewjoy.com2007 - Maureen StevensonCafe Manager, Nottingham, UKAttended Course : Belief Craft MP3 Set
"As a person who has never attended any NLP or KE Sessions before, I have found the whole experience useful to me and feel that I am going away with a wealth of knowledge I believe will guide me through many areas of my life. I am excited about attending more trainings in the future."
2005 - Howard WolfMiami, FLAttended Course : Persuasion Summit
PTPS was absolutely the best training in persuasion I've ever experienced. Chris' skills in NLP and persuasion are a compilation of the best of Richard Bandler, Kenrick Cleveland, & Michael Hall, all combined. Chris has evolved these techniques, enhanced them, and repackaged persuasion for the new millenium. Chris has tested his techniques thousands of times through the thousands of telemarketers he's managed over the years. This seminar will go down in the annuls of NLP history.
2001