Recently, on social media, an NLP Practitioner asked a question about a client who reported having a phobia, and with whom he used the NLP Fast Phobia Cure, which may have partly worked, but it came back a few days later?
Mirroring Breathing for Profound NLP Rapport - NLP Article
One of the things we study in NLP is how to get deeper rapport with people, which helps you more effectively click with absolutely anybody. NLP is probably the source of most great rapport training available.
This includes methods for establishing or getting rapport initially, building or enhancing or deepening rapport, maintaining rapport over time, and then, when the time comes, elegantly reducing rapport so as to disconnect from a situation, but still maintaining the relationship.
Now, this may seem counter intuitive, if you still think "But there are just some people I click with, and some I don't." NLP trained people don't have that problem. We can click with anyone, if we so choose. And here's one of the most profound ways of doing so:
Mirroring and Matching others' breathing rates can produce amazing results.
One of the things we noticed when studying people who were naturally in extremely deep rapport, is that their breathing tends to synchronize. So if you synchronize your breathing, you can rapidly CAUSE the same feelings in another person that they would feel if they were already likely to gain rapport with you.
In fact, if you synchronize your breathing and speaking rates with other people's breathing rates, you're going to have a blast watching and enjoying as people find ways to deepen their connection with you in response!
However, often when just getting started, some people have experienced some difficulty with mirroring some other people. To do this well requires really good peripheral vision. This is one of the hallmarks of great NLP training, is if the trainer spends time improving their students' peripheral awareness skills (I do. Always.).
Train Your Peripheral Vision Awareness
If you can learn to pay attention to the big picture by using more of your peripheral vision, and slow down your perceptions -- since you're not looking for rapid changes usually -- you can begin to notice the slow rise and fall of her arms... and maybe the outward and inward expansion of her rib cage ... or her arms resting against her rib cage or stomach... sometimes the shoulders will adjust a little or rise with each breath... maybe then you can even... learn to see changes in the wrinkles of clothing, or in the muscles in her cheeks or neck....
And as you get better and better at learning and then using these skills, you'll probably find that mirroring breathing exactly can sometimes be noticed by really perceptive people, so you'll want to become more subtle as you learn to cross mirror (like tapping your finger on your thigh or chest or tapping your feet to the rhythm of her breathing, or the blinking of her eyes...
It reminds me of how, whenever people meet out somewhere socially, and... well, have you ever seen how couples react to one another and pay attention, really pay attention to how other people move? It's almost as though they can really begin to do similar things without thinking about it, in natural, comfortable ways! Sometimes they're in sync, sometimes they're out of sync... and the conversations always flow more naturally, more comfortably, when they are in sync!
What's more, in a way, many people who are out of sync can get into sync by doing similar things, and if they're really really tuned in to the person they're hearing from and talking with, they or the other person can go off in one direction verbally, or nonverbally, and the other might just follow along... now, as you think about all these things, and find a way to see how you can utilize everything this email has to offer, instantly, for wonderful purposes, and all for having fun and living a great life, how surprised would you be when, if you actually did get caught, and then you laughed about it, they might be so in tune with you, that they'd laugh along with you?
OK, Now you might want to wake up and go out & try it all out with your eyes open!!! So, you can see for yourself how! Totally incredible? It is!
In terms of going beyond this... consider integrating all these skills deeply, learning how important the process of influence truly is, and most importantly, IMHO, how using these new skills responsibly becomes all the more important, as you increase the effectiveness of your own skills!
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Inbox Insights
- Knowledge Engineering (& Belief Craft) have evolved, into GeniusMapping™
- As of September 2020, we're in the process of moving from Tampa, Florida, to the Youngstown Ohio area. Currently, during the Coronavirus era, we're mostly focusing on Zoom-based Coaching, and aligning resources to run online courses.
- How "Civil Engineering" totally reframes the word "Stress," redefines the phrase "Stress Management," and leads us to embrace Stress!
- Many NLP Practitioners are more sloppy with their thinking patterns, than they'd like to admit, or... would even notice.
- Watch NLP Co-Founder Richard Bandler use NLP to eliminate Michael Strahan's phobic response to snakes -- in minutes (with Kelly Ripa bringing over a BIG snake at the end to test Michael's response). Spoiler alert: It worked ridiculously well.
- No matter what skill you want to learn, no matter what fears or concerns or hesitation you may have, there are and will always be a wide range of approaches, to learning that skill. It's important to keep that in mind when making learning choices.
- Many more famous people have been trained in Ericksonian (indirect) Hypnosis and NLP than you might guess. There are certainly far more who have strong interests here than have publically admitted so.
- On January 1, 2015, Jonathan Altfeld and 20 other co-authors released a digital book entitled "Creating Business Growth."
- What are the Four Stages of Learning?
- Mayra RiveraAttorney, Miami, FLAttended Course : NLP Practitioner Training
I recommend Jonathan's NLP Course to anyone who is interested in dramatically improving his or her rapport and communication skills. I am very impressed with Jonathan's quick and practical approach to the questions posed by his students. I have accepted the challenge to continue practicing these skills in the future, and strive to achieve Jonathan's elegance and mastery.
1998 - Andy PrestonSales Trainer, Outstanding Results, Manchester & LondonAttended Course : Linguistic Wizardry
What a fantastic 3-day event this is! Having been around the fringes of NLP for some time, after doing my Practitioner course, I was looking to further my skills without necessarily going the Master Practitioner route yet. I first met Jonathan Altfeld at an evening he ran in Manchester and heard about the Linguistic Wizadry course, and signed up immediately. Not only did the course look fantastic, but it was being held near Amsterdam - how could I refuse! In 3 days, I learnt more practical NLP (and how and where to apply it!) than with the vast majority of other trainings I've been to. I knew there were NLP trainers in the room, other Practitioners and people who'd not done Prac yet - and I was worried that the material would either be too complex for me to understand, or too simple (for the newbies). After the first hour, all those concerns melted away. Not only did Jonathan make the material simple, easy-to-understand and very practical, but the way he taught ensured everyone in the room (regardless of skill level) was getting massive value. I find I've achieved great command of metaphors, sensory language, storytelling, and much more - to list them here simply would not do the course justice! In my humble opinion this is by far the best value NLP course I've ever done, and having studied with some of the best NLP trainers in the world - I rate Jonathan in the top 1%.
http://www.outstanding-results.co.uk/2006 
Sara WisemanAuthor of “Writing the Divine,” “Your Psychic Child”, & “The Intuitive Path”, Portland, ORAttended Course : Speaking IngeniouslyVery few can do what Jonathan does! A true master teacher of NLP and inspired public speaking, he takes complex concepts and teaches them in a way so that you not only understand them intellectually, but absorb them at a deeper level. The result? What you’ve learned is there when you need it: with clients, for teaching and presenting, for speaking to audiences of all sizes. Highly recommended!
http://www.sarawiseman.com2011
Andy SmithTrainer of NLP & Appreciative Inquiry, Coaching Leaders, Manchester UK & FranceAttended Course : Belief Craft Seminar"I have attended separate KE & [SoM] trainings in the past, Belief Craft is definitely more than the sum of its parts. Doug's way of training [SoM] is the best I have found; for the first time I now feel I 'get' the "why" as well as the "how" of [SoM]. On my NLP Trainer's Training, [SoM] was one of the areas people had the least recall of - both the 'how' and also when and why you would ever use it. Previous trainings of [SoM] I have attended by other trainers have not sufficiently demonstrated... etc. Jonathan gets better every time he trains KE - awesomely powerful and complex concepts are rendered easy to learn and apply in the real world. I can't wait to start trying out this new material (Belief Craft and/or KE on its own) to benefit myself and my clients."
http://www.coachingleaders.co.uk/2005- Donna McGeorgeSpeaker, Facilitator, People with PEP,Hired Coaching : Personal Coaching
On the 2 occasions that you have coached me, I have experienced what I assumed to be metaphor sessions. I'm not totally conscious of the process or content of the sessions, yet the results I have had from both sessions are as follows: Session 1 - desired outcome - "get some focus and direction for moving forward given that I'd achieved a lot of what I set out to. What's next?". Whatever you did, my business increased by over 30% in revenues following the session. My focus changed, and I implemented the "Donna the Diva" project, which has resulted in my getting my mojo back, and being way more confident in my skin and clear about what I'm good at. This has also resulted in my "sacking" 2 clients that didn't fit my vision for myself, and for PEP. Again, I'm not sure that I'm consciously aware of what I was doing differently - all I know is that a shift happened, and the result was useful (to say the least). Session 2 - desired outcome - "I'm earning more money than I ever had, and I am swimming in debt - help?! ". Again, I know we talked about a bunch of strategies and I'm clear they also were metaphors. I think our session was about 8 weeks ago? Well, since then - I have cleared all my creditors, and have over $25K in a personal bank account (something that has NEVER happened before). Steve and I are currently shopping for property, and I'm no longer afraid to answer the phone for fear of speaking to a creditor. The physical manifestation of this is that I used to have a folder that was nearly 1.5 inches thick full of bills and accounts. It is currently about an eighth of an inch thick - and these are all less than 30 days. So - that's a pretty literal description of my results of working with you, and I am most grateful to you, and look forward to further coaching. I am happy for you to use any of the above. None of it is a secret - I tell anyone who cares to listen about the results I get following your sessions.
http://www.peoplewithpep.com.au/2007 - Peter FreethLondon, UKAttended Course : Belief Craft MP3 Set
Less than 5 hours after the end of Jonathan's KE course in London I'm visualising extensive and complex belief systems hidden within language - and keeping up a 'full time' conversation at the same time. Why is this useful? In the past I may have gotten to a strategy and thought 'I'm done' whereas now I hear and see the whole complex structure. Key decision points and` behaviours are emerging which are many times more complete, powerful and elegant than anything I would have arrived at previously through standard 'strategy elicitation'. Before today, I knew people who I thought were complex, now I know that they're no more complex than anyone else, they just hide their beliefs better. This means that I know that I can now choose to work with everybody rather than just the 'easy people'. I am now creating subtle and elegant interventions without thinking about it and I know how much that is going to benefit me more and more over time. And I had a great time too!
2003 - UstahiKosovoBought Audio : Knowledge Engineering
My life is really getting even more interesting, just now I finished listening one more piece of puzzle I've been missing - how to track beliefs. My belief about beliefs is that they're life itself. So why not learn everything about them? If you want a precise model of how to do it and get to know people's circuits then Knowledge Engineering is the course to study and put in immediate use. I'm soon going to become Telecoms/Computers engineer and Jonathans experience as AI expert really got me in a new world of possibilites. I'm thinking about how to use it in all the directions in my life. As a guaranteed side benefit from the course is also opening your ears and listening to what people tell you. I'm really finding this a true must skill one should have. I'd like to thank Jonathan for his way of putting the model and for his genuine interest in his customers.
2002 - Michael ChristonNLP Trainer & Entrepreneur, Edinburgh, ScotlandAttended Course : Linguistic Wizardry
Linguistic Wizardry is a 3-day course which can be attended by non-NLP, Practitioners, Master Practitioners and Trainers... and all will enjoy and learn from the experience. Not only does Jonathan demonstrate an incredible understanding and proficiency in linguistics but presents/trains in a very entertaining and effective manner. As a trainer of NLP I still enjoy attending training (there is always something to be learnt) - on such occasions I have a professional interest in what outcomes are achieved by the trainer. It is on this point that Jonathan stands out a mile in comparison to many trainers in the field of NLP... EVERYONE in the room dramatically improved their skill level. In my experience I have never come across such success... and I have trained with many 'great' names. As for the content - This course is not an indepth exploration of the Meta Model or Milton Model, though there are a few references through the three days. Instead this programme quite rightly concentrates on the basis and delivery of communication with specific emphasis on state and sensory acuity. Hence - If you were wondering why your 'theoretical' or academic understanding of language has not achieved the desired practical results - THIS IS THE COURSE FOR YOU. Jonathan is amazing and definitely deserves to be considered as one of the best NLP trainers in the world. And interestingly - he is without ego or arrogance and is (for me) one of the easiest trainers to chat with I have ever met. If you have not already done so - TRAIN WITH JONATHAN and discover just how much further you can take your NLP skills.
2007 - Howard WolfMiami, FLAttended Course : Persuasion Summit
PTPS was absolutely the best training in persuasion I've ever experienced. Chris' skills in NLP and persuasion are a compilation of the best of Richard Bandler, Kenrick Cleveland, & Michael Hall, all combined. Chris has evolved these techniques, enhanced them, and repackaged persuasion for the new millenium. Chris has tested his techniques thousands of times through the thousands of telemarketers he's managed over the years. This seminar will go down in the annuls of NLP history.
2001 - Brian TracySpeaker, Author, World-Renowned Business Expert, Brian Tracy International,Bought Audio : Finding Your Irresistible Voice
"This is a wonderful program that will give you a powerful, authoritative voice. It can change your life."
http://briantracy.com/2000