
Asking Those Bad Dreams Away... Positive thinking NLP Technique - NLP Article
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Recently my 5-year-old daughter reported having had a few bad dreams. This further led to some less-than-desirable behavior around bedtime before she went to bed, and then, some resistance to drifting down into a comfortable sleep at a good time.
So I created a ritual and offered her some tricks to making sure most if not all of her dreams would be good ones. She jumped at the opportunity and wanted to know the tricks. So I told her, it was easy -- it was just a few questions that she could ask and not answer. I used a technique I learned from one of my own trainers, Rex Steven Sikes -- simply put -- just asking better questions.
Some of you may have learned about how we direct our attention with our questions from Tony Robbins, but this article takes it further with "complex syntax". Combine 'asking better questions' with 'complex syntax,' (designed to confuse the conscious mind and engage the UNconscious mind) and we get great results.
So now my daughter & I have a ritual every evening whereby I come in at bedtime and we ask some good questions.
Of course, the deal requires her to "practice keeping her eyes closed for as long as she can" while we run through some questions. I say the questions and she repeats them out loud, though softly. And then between some of the questions I recommend she take a long... slow... deep breaths... (which, increasingly, lead to yawns!)
Here are a few of the questions I use, with lots of variation:
- I wonder how easily I'm going to fall asleep tonight?
- Will I have several amazing dreams, or only 3-4 good dreams?
- I'm not sure just how wonderful my dreams are going to be tonight, but won't it be fun to discover comfort inside of sleep?
- How much will my body grow and heal naturally while I rest tonight?
- Where in my body do I feel the most relaxed?
- How much will I enjoy my deep and comfortable sleep?
- Will it take me 4 minutes to drift into dreamland, or 6 or 7?
After we run through a few of these, if I pause for a minute or two and just recommend she keep breathing deeply, she's usually asleep without further questioning.
We've been doing this for a couple of weeks now. I recently asked her if she was still getting bad dreams, and she answered, "no, I get only good dreams now. So we have to keep doing the good questions!"
I must say, I haven't yet solved EVERY challenge I face as a parent, but with NLP I certainly feel more empowered than I would have been 10 years ago to handle what comes up, evaluate situations as impartially as possible, and, design creative solutions for them.
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- Silke ScheidereiterGermanyAttended Course :
Thanks for a wonderful & mind altering weekend - it was worth every single penny! [...] my brain just can't stop generating new ideas & solutions, identifying patterns, going through the huge pile of new information. [...] I still don't have a clue as to how you managed to get that much data into these few inches of my brain in such a short time!!! NLP seems to be much more effective & powerful than I ever dared to dream of.....
2000 - Chris FialaMarketing Consultant, Clearwater, FLAttended Course : Speaking Ingeniously
"I very much enjoyed your seminar. Having more comfort when I talk with people makes the rapport deeper. Even though my demo is only 90 seconds, I hold longer eye contact with more potential customers, building a sense of connection. Result? Sales of my juicer product increased 30%." -
- Simon ApplebaumHarmonix Systems, Southampton, UKAttended Course : Finding Your Irresistible Voice
I learned loads and increased my confidence in my own voice massively. The course kicked off with an opportunity for everyone to speak to the group and we got immediate feedback on our vocal strengths and areas for improvement. The feedback was insightful and effective - even at this very early stage of the course, we were all achieving quite serious improvements. A key aspect of Jonathan's approach is the use of real-time feedback and he uses several tools to do this. The theory is that normally you don't actually hear your own voice quite as other people do - the sound changes as it travels through the bones and tissues of your own head! By using feedback, you hear a more accurate version of your own voice, as other people hear it, and you can make adjustments on the fly in response to it. This worked for me. Although I'd previously done voice work, this was the first time I'd used this approach. I found I could focus on the actual sound of my voice, as I spoke. I sounded better which increased my confidence, helping me slow down my usual rush to get finished. Overall I found the course great fun, I learnt loads and the time passed in a flash. I particularly appreciated the lighter hearted sections at the end of the day's training where Jonathan demonstrated his voice impersonation skills. Ranging from Stallone and Arnie, through to Marge Simpson, we were all encouraged to join in and explore the range of our own voices. Fun and with a very serious purpose: each accent we practiced exercised particular parameters of our voice. Because I attended the beginning and end of the course, I missed out a big chunk in the middle including any gradual improvements the other attendees were making in their voice. So for me, on my return on the final day, I noticed quite dramatic improvements compared with the initial session. Straw polls frequently show that many people lack confidence in their voice. If you consider your voice to be one of your key assets, Finding Your Irresistible Voice is a valuable and effective learning experience, where you could expect to make fantastic improvements, in a fun and supportive environment, that boosts your confidence.
2006 - David GouldBristol Hypnotherapy, Bristol, UKAttended Course : Knowledge Engineering
(written in 1998:) Jonathan has not been doing NLP all that long, & yet his skills already surpass almost all the other trainers. Most of you will probably be wondering how he does it. Luckily, Jonathan has decided to teach us in a special 3-day training he calls "Knowledge Engineering & NLP". Because of the original nature of the material being taught & because of Jonathan's mastery of teaching at many levels simultaneously, the training suits all levels of NLP ability. He is also very good at tailoring the training to the participants: most of what we did was made up as we went along & yet, because it all went so well, I assumed it had been planned! Jonathan is quite happy teaching something completely irrelevant to the material if he thinks it's useful to the trainees. I found this particularly refreshing. I confidently recommend this course to everyone, especially those who want to progress a lot faster with NLP.
http://www.deep-trance.com1998 - John BaileyGemstone Artist , Gemstone Artist, OregonBought Audio : Automatic Yes CD-set
The material was very well presented, with good introduction and solid setups. I particularly appreciated the easy-going style and the overall feel of the material. The admonitions to actually PRACTICE, and the structured-in opportunities to do so, are really good, too. I would recommend this program for anyone who wants to learn the fundamentals of state-chaining, whether for basic sales or for therapeutic purposes. I found a significant value in your personal style and take that was very useful in my present project writing on the subject of state chains and patterns in my upcoming book.
http://www.gemstoneartist.com2009 - James TsakalosNLP Trainer, Developing Magic, Melbourne, AustraliaPersonal :
Jonathan? He's very good. It's as simple as that. I would be willing to leave my students in his hands, and that puts him in the company of maybe two or three other trainers who share that much of my respect. This is a guy who looks after every one of his students, works hard, has plenty of fun along the way and makes sure that everybody else does too. And he knows his stuff. From a student's point of view, this means that you're getting someone with top-notch skills and expertise. And from another NLP trainer's point of view - oooh baby! See, everyone knows that expertise in the nuts and bolts of NLP training will get you good results, and many trainers just stop there. But some of us aren't satisfied with nuts and bolts. Some of us want more. Because deep down, we know that there's technical skill, and then there's artistry! And this guy is an artist. As another trainer, it's an absolute joy to watch Jonathan weaving his magic. It's very easy to see that he loves what he does, and he loves doing it well. The number of NLP trainers that I endorse without reservation can be counted on the fingers of one hand (in fact, I could count them and still have room to spare for a couple of finger puppets). Jonathan is one of those trainers. If you have a chance to enroll in one of his seminars then you have a fantastic opportunity to experience quality NLP training with one of the best and most accessible trainers you're likely to find. My advice? Make the most of the opportunity - you'll have a great time, you'll learn a lot more than you think, and you'll develop some fantastic skills without even realising it until you notice yourself using them to great effect long after the course is over.
http://nlpmelbourne.com.au/2011 - Erol ThompsonLondon, UKAttended Course : Linguistic Wizardry
As someone relatively new to the subject of NLP I greatly appreciated the mix and range of experience available to me on the linguistic wizardry seminar. Knowledge sharing wasn't just encouraged by Jonathon, but expected as a pre-requisite to getting the most out of the course. As a result this added to the whole seminar experience from day one. Perhaps of greatest benefit to me was the way that Jonathon ensured that we learned as much during lunch breaks and evening conversations as we had learned during the day. By joining us Jonathon showed how the material could be usefully integrated in the real world - achieving shop discounts ethically, was another great bonus. During the course, the practical sessions and brain gym exercises were highly enjoyable - I've already used one or two as handy exercises to occupy the attention of boisterous nephews and nieces. It seems NLP really is 'child's play'. In general, I would like to have played around with more examples of 'state-chaining' through story telling. The Village Council sessions allowed me to see for myself how I'd benefited from the course. Personal benefits for me since the course have been in my professional and social interactions - for instance I now find it easier to model the behaviours of colleagues who have enviable influencing styles; I now see interactions as an opportunity to share stories in a more exciting way; and the quality of my presentations (and joke telling) have improved. For this I believe Jonathon should take some credit.
2006 - Richard StokesLondon, UKAttended Course : “Irresistible Voice”seminar
I attended Jonathan Altfeld's Irresistible Voice workshop about a year ago. I was extremely impressed at the time, but didn't want to post a review until I'd had a chance to experience the difference that it made in practice. [...] The starting point of the transformation was the use of various pieces of electronic amplification equipment. What this does is allow you to hear yourself as others hear you, in real time. ... Using the PA equipment is the first step to revealing our true voice. The result for me was a revelation - I have a good voice, but I'd just never heard it before. The workshop was interspersed with the opportunity to try out specific drills, a bit like circuit training, in groups of 2 or 3 people. Speaking to a rhythmic click track, speaking lying on the floor with books balanced on the belly, and a laptop with a speech analyser. All ways of generating feedback based on external indications, which we could then experiment with. For me, this was the magic of the workshop, the bringing to the surface of what was previously been hidden, where it could be experimented with. Another great feature of the workshop was the regular coaching by Jonathan, in front of the group. I wanted to be able to project my voice without shouting, so as to reach someone sitting 20 rows back. Jonathan made small adjustments to the way I held my head, a tilt of maybe half an inch or so, and the effect was noticeable and immediate. All of Jonathan's coaching and interventions were directed to specific outcomes that each person wanted. Shortly afterwards, I joined a public speaking club in order to be able to put into practice what I'd learned, speaking to groups of 30-40 people. The feedback I got right from the start was consistently that I have a great speaking voice, and that it was clear that I was an experienced speaker. I'd highly recommend this course.
2007 - Sue PullenBrighton, UKBought Audio : Finding Your Irresistible Voice
Since using your CD, I used the technique on my answerphone. And since the new voicemail, I never have any problems getting favours or work done from my male colleagues!!! Easy!!!
2002 - R.B.Management Consultant, MichiganAttended Course : Flirtopia DVD-set
What I got from my first two hours after Flirtopia: I sat next to a flight attendant on the way back home, & had tremendous fun chatting with her with just one outcome in mind - I wanted her to feel really good! I found myself really enjoying using what I had learned over the weekend, & I could tell that she was getting a LOT of energy out of it - even though I established early in the conversation that we were both married, just to be safe (hanky-panky is a kind of pollution I could live without right now). It was a great conversation that made me feel really connected with a person I wouldn't ordinarily talk to, but the great part happened as we were getting off the plane. She reached in her bag & took out her book of frequent flyer coupons (the kind they give passengers when they want to appease them) she had, & very generously gave them to me - every single one. I was blown away! So I got at least 25,000 frequent flier miles out of my first two hours after the training - & I made this woman very happy in the bargain! What a hoot! I wanted you to know that I really enjoyed the company of the instructors & assistants. They were all tremendous, & really added a lot to the learning. As I left the hotel Sunday evening, I thought to myself that these are the kind of people I really enjoy having in my life. Generous, helpful, skilled & fun-loving are words that come to my mind to describe the members of your team.
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